Hi, friends! What have you been up to lately? Hope you are good and reading some good Austenesque stories whether it is new releases or old time favourites. Speaking of latest novels, there is one that caught my eye although it isn't available yet. It is currently on pre-order but the author is throwing an early celebration to introduce her Pride and Prejudice variation to keen readers. Let's give a warm welcome to frequent visitor Jayne Bamber!
Those of you who have been following my blog tour will know that this novel begins with a tragic deviation from canon — the five Bennet sisters have been orphaned and left to their own devices at Longbourn for two years. Mr Collins, by some unfortunate coincidence, never received their communication informing him of his inheritance, and discovers it quite by accident, thanks to his sister (yes, alas, there are two of them!)
Though Lady Catherine is quick to come to the rescue of the Bennet sisters, Mr Collins is far too self-important to let the matter rest, and is determined to be just as put out as his former patroness. The excerpt I am sharing today was one of my favorite scenes to write. For those of you who have always wondered how Lady Catherine could put up with a man like Collins always babbling away at her, here is what happens when she can bear it no longer....
Mr Collins assumed a groveling posture. "Well, I should hate to trouble your ladyship, but we have ever been friends, since first I came to Kent — and it was at your behest — your generosity in bestowing such a generous living upon me, which I have long considered a mark of condescension, and a testament of your own excellent, amiable character...."
Lady Catherine glared down at him. "Mr Collins," she said through gritted teeth.
"Your ladyship must forgive me, but we have been in uproar at Longbourn this morning."
"We? To whom do you refer?"
"Who indeed," Mr Collins scoffed. "There is nobody there, except Dawkins, of course. There were no servants to greet me yesterday, nor can I find that there are any at all remaining — it is really quite shocking!"
"Dawkins?"
Now Mr Collins began to puff himself up, affecting an air of importance. "I have hired a valet, as befits a gentleman of my station. But he is the only servant I have, which is not right at all! I had expected Longbourn to be fully staffed; their amiable friend Miss Lucas said that some of the servants had gone away — but they ought to have obtained more, for my sake, and not let the remaining staff scatter and scamper away. But now they are all gone, and nothing can be done without a great deal of fuss — it is an absolute disgrace, and I will not stand for it!"
"This makes your position quite pitiable, I am sure," Lady Catherine drawled. "But it can have nothing to do with me — or Miss Elizabeth."
Mr Collins began to stammer, looking from Elizabeth to Lady Catherine. "You, Cousin — I know this is all your doing! Everyone says so, everyone says you are responsible for everything at Longbourn, and now it is in such irreparable disarray!"
Elizabeth instinctively took a step back from him, more out of revulsion than any real fear. "Everyone says so? But I thought you said everybody was gone away — which is it, sir?"
"Upstart, obstinate girl, you willfully mistake my meaning," he cried, his face reddening most repugnantly. "You have turned all the farmers against me — I have never been so disrespected in all my life. To be denied satisfaction, roundly abused in the coarsest of language by those whom rank and status require to be subservient to me — the churlish lack of deference, of decency! You have ruined them all with your backward thinking — it is just the sort of evil that is to be feared and avoided — just why the entail has existed, to prevent the dominion of the weaker sex, for such inferiority of reason has caused every tenant and labourer to defy me. They are all so stubborn and indolent! Half the able-bodied men on the property are claiming some malady or other, but I am sure they are all of them vicious drunkards, for more than one of them has threatened — well, I ought not to say such things in front of a lady."
For a moment Elizabeth could only gape at Mr Collins, who had worked himself into such a state that he was now perspiring heavily from the exertion of pacing about the room during his petulant outburst. Lady Catherine was the first to recover; she addressed Mr Collins with frigid steel in her voice. "Mr. Collins, you ought not to have said any of this, nor come to Netherfield at all, to make such an unseemly display of ill-humour and ignorance. I must ask you to leave immediately."
"I will not," he said, his shrill voice causing Elizabeth to flinch. Mr Collins fixed his beady eyes on her and took a step closer. "See how she sneers at me! You are most deceived in her character, Lady Catherine, most wickedly deceived! I have heard it said by several of the tenant farmers that Cousin Eliza has taken too much upon herself, that she has grown greedy and calculating since her father's death — that she congratulates herself on making Longbourn more profitable than it was before, running the place however she liked, as if it were her right to do so — she has so far misled all the farmers that now they will not acknowledge my rights, or explain her methods to me, nor make any account of what has been going on! And now she has bewitched you just the same, and led you to turn your back on a man who has a greater claim to your friendship and condescension — I am forsaken, and yet I fear for you, your ladyship — these Bennets will be the ruin of you."
Lady Catherine came forward until she was very close to Mr Collins; she was a tall woman, and the sight of her looming over him delighted Elizabeth, though she would prefer some opportunity to voice her own displeasure. "You have thoroughly forfeited any claim to my friendship and condescension," Lady Catherine said, jabbing her finger into his chest as she spoke. Mr Collins took a step backward, his mouth agape; Lady Catherine moved forward and prodded him again. "You have shown yourself to be staggeringly inept at managing the estate you so greedily hastened to occupy, and unpardonably boorish in your dealings with all your tenant farmers and estate workers." Another ominous step forward, and another forceful jab of her finger into his chest. "Your mean understanding precludes you from comprehending what a great favour this worthy young woman has done you.
Mr Collins took a hasty stride backward before Lady Catherine could jab at him again; he stumbled over a tufted footstool, staggered backward into an armchair, and stared up at the dowager in confusion. "Great favour? I have not the pleasure of understanding your ladyship."
"Indeed," Lady Catherine spat. "You have said yourself that Miss Elizabeth has been credited with making Longbourn more profitable. I daresay you owe her some thanks — and a resounding apology for all your previous disparagements."
Mr Collins sat up straighter, sputtering with sudden comprehension. "Is it true, Cousin Eliza? Have you made the estate more profitable?"
"I shall not deny it," Elizabeth said, holding her head high. "Indeed, I have no wish to deny it, for it is not an ill thing at all — I should rather consider it sufficient contradiction of all your nonsense condemning womankind and declaring the fairer sex to be incapable of estate management."
He stood, making a gesture to silence her. "You have made the estate more profitable," he said again. This time, he seemed to fully understand the implications of such a concept. "And where, might I ask, have these profits gone?"
Mr Collins' pompous triumph was but fleeting; Lady Catherine swatted at him with mounting impatience. "You simple man! But of course the girls have kept their profits. All labourers toil for the same purpose — payment. You quite astonish me, sir. Next you shall be asking whether they slept in their beds while they resided there, and dined from the larder."
He was stymied but for a moment, and began again. "This is a most shocking discovery — a terrible crime against me, against decency itself! But I was sure of it — I knew there had been some great treachery — some terrible duplicity!"
Once more, his unfortunate wording only heightened Elizabeth's ire. "Mr Collins," she cried. She hesitated, torn between unleashing the full force of her fury on this whinging half-wit, and attempting to maintain some modicum of dignity before the dowager.
Lady Catherine took advantage of Elizabeth's pause and interceded directly. "Mr Collins, your inadequacies of intellect cannot be permitted to importune us any longer. You may decline to demonstrate the gratitude you owe this young woman, and that is certainly your prerogative, sir, but there is little else you can do by way of protest." Once again Lady Catherine's posture had become frightfully imposing in a way that Mr Collins was keenly susceptible to. "You may recall the documents sent over by my own solicitor, on Mr Gardiner's behalf. Several signatures were required, and if you had actually read these documents, and fully comprehended them, you would now have no cause to repine. You have put your name to such terms as relinquish all rights to further dispute any funds generated by the property before the day you took formal possession of the estate — an estate which, I will remind you one final time, might have been passed to you in far worse a condition, were it not for the hard work and clever resourcefulness of the lady you have spent this half hour berating."
Mr Collins' eyes went wide in alarm, and he began to sputter incomprehensibly. Elizabeth smiled at him, feeling entirely vindicated, but Lady Catherine was not quite finished.
"You have now sunk yourself further in my esteem than I had ever imagined possible. With any luck we shall not have occasion to speak again, lest my opinion of your character reach a point wherein it becomes necessary for me to warn the general public at large of your profound capacity for reckless and malicious stupidity that may yet prove a danger to those unfortunate enough to suffer a connection to you. I shall not bid you good day, sir, nor send any compliments to your sister — I shall merely direct you to the door."
Elizabeth had not imagined her cousin capable of the terrific speed with which he hastened from the room, but she was glad indeed to see him depart at last after such a scene. She sank into the nearest chair and let out a long, heavy exhale.
Lady Catherine's demeanour instantly softened. "Are you well, Lizzy? Is there something I can get you for your present relief? Some wine perhaps?"
Elizabeth declined, shaking her head as a tremendous wave of emotion overtook her. She was in shock from the whole encounter, but one point in particular had caused her considerable surprise, and she offered her ferocious protector an appreciative smile. "You already knew?"
"Knew what, my dear?" With a significant look in her eye, Lady Catherine moved closer, laying a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder.
"All the money we put aside — shall we really be permitted to keep what we have saved?"
"Oh, that." Lady Catherine chuckled ruefully. "I made it all up — I hazarded a guess that you must have had the prudence to save — it was an easy conjecture."
Elizabeth sat back against the chair, a little deflated by this revelation. "So he did not sign anything that protects us?"
"But he believes that he has, and that is nearly the same thing. You are not so wholly unprotected my dear, I assure you."
"Thank you," she said softly.
"Come now, I had thought you were made of sterner stuff than this! If you cannot laugh about it quite yet, perhaps I must tell you my original advice to Mr Collins was that he ought to marry one of you girls." Lady Catherine made a very droll face, and Elizabeth at last gave way to the ridiculous humour of her situation.
Mrs Bennet was right to worry about Mr Collins — but her daughters are in good hands. Lady Catherine is not a woman to be gainsaid, especially not by her former parson!
Stay tuned for more excerpts and more chances to enter the giveaway...
After the untimely death of their parents, Elizabeth Bennet and her sisters are left to make their own way in the world, and the dubious decision to stay at Longbourn until they are forced out leads to chaos and confrontation two years later, when their cousin Mr Collins comes to claim his inheritance.
Hot on his heels is his noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, a woman consumed by grief of her own after the loss of her husband and daughter in a terrible fire at her estate, Rosings Park. While her nephew Mr Darcy is shocked by his aunt's interest in the five orphaned girls, her niece Georgiana thinks it just the thing to soothe the dowager's low spirits. Moved by the bonds of sorrow and a shared contempt of Mr Collins, Lady Catherine offers the Bennet sisters her protection and assistance in society — and what better way to help them than to find them all rich husbands?
Much to her chagrin, Lady Catherine is not the only one to meddle in Meryton's marriage mart — Richard Fitzwilliam joins her, at leisure to make mischief, Charlotte Lucas, now an heiress in her own right, has a secret of her own, and Georgiana Darcy finds herself inspired to write a novel that will document — and change — the lives of her new friends.
Tensions rise between Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy as they both bristle at Lady Catherine's plans — for very different reasons. Misapprehension and misunderstandings abound and plans go awry as the great lady rents Netherfield Park and hosts a horde of single gentlemen in possession of good fortunes, who must be in want of wives.
Will the Bennet sisters find love and happiness? What other Austen heroes and rakes might appear in the once dull village of Meryton? Will Darcy and Lizzy overcome the obstacles of their own making?
Jayne Bamber is a life-long Austen fan and a total sucker for costume dramas. Jayne read her first Austen variation as a teenager and has spent more than a decade devouring as many of them as she can. This of course has led her to the ultimate conclusion of her addiction, writing one herself.
Jayne's favourite Austen work is Sense and Sensibility, though Sanditon is a strong second. Despite her love for Pride and Prejudice, Jayne realises that she is no Lizzy Bennet, and is in fact growing up to be Mrs. Bennet more and more each day.
After years of dating Wickhams, Collinses and the occasional Tilney-that-got-away, Jayne married her very own Darcy (tinged with just the right amount of Mr. Palmer) and the two live together in Texas with a pair of badly behaved rat terriers, and a desire to expand their menagerie of fur babies.
Guest Post
Hello dear Janeites! It is a pleasure to be back at My Love for Jane Austen to share more details of my new release, Five Daughters Out at Once.Those of you who have been following my blog tour will know that this novel begins with a tragic deviation from canon — the five Bennet sisters have been orphaned and left to their own devices at Longbourn for two years. Mr Collins, by some unfortunate coincidence, never received their communication informing him of his inheritance, and discovers it quite by accident, thanks to his sister (yes, alas, there are two of them!)
Though Lady Catherine is quick to come to the rescue of the Bennet sisters, Mr Collins is far too self-important to let the matter rest, and is determined to be just as put out as his former patroness. The excerpt I am sharing today was one of my favorite scenes to write. For those of you who have always wondered how Lady Catherine could put up with a man like Collins always babbling away at her, here is what happens when she can bear it no longer....
Excerpt
Lady Catherine entered the drawing room in such a manner as to instantly strike some degree of fear into Mr Collins. "Sir, you astonish me. Eager as you were to take possession of your new home, I cannot imagine what has brought you away from it and into mine."Mr Collins assumed a groveling posture. "Well, I should hate to trouble your ladyship, but we have ever been friends, since first I came to Kent — and it was at your behest — your generosity in bestowing such a generous living upon me, which I have long considered a mark of condescension, and a testament of your own excellent, amiable character...."
Lady Catherine glared down at him. "Mr Collins," she said through gritted teeth.
"Your ladyship must forgive me, but we have been in uproar at Longbourn this morning."
"We? To whom do you refer?"
"Who indeed," Mr Collins scoffed. "There is nobody there, except Dawkins, of course. There were no servants to greet me yesterday, nor can I find that there are any at all remaining — it is really quite shocking!"
"Dawkins?"
Now Mr Collins began to puff himself up, affecting an air of importance. "I have hired a valet, as befits a gentleman of my station. But he is the only servant I have, which is not right at all! I had expected Longbourn to be fully staffed; their amiable friend Miss Lucas said that some of the servants had gone away — but they ought to have obtained more, for my sake, and not let the remaining staff scatter and scamper away. But now they are all gone, and nothing can be done without a great deal of fuss — it is an absolute disgrace, and I will not stand for it!"
"This makes your position quite pitiable, I am sure," Lady Catherine drawled. "But it can have nothing to do with me — or Miss Elizabeth."
Mr Collins began to stammer, looking from Elizabeth to Lady Catherine. "You, Cousin — I know this is all your doing! Everyone says so, everyone says you are responsible for everything at Longbourn, and now it is in such irreparable disarray!"
Elizabeth instinctively took a step back from him, more out of revulsion than any real fear. "Everyone says so? But I thought you said everybody was gone away — which is it, sir?"
"Upstart, obstinate girl, you willfully mistake my meaning," he cried, his face reddening most repugnantly. "You have turned all the farmers against me — I have never been so disrespected in all my life. To be denied satisfaction, roundly abused in the coarsest of language by those whom rank and status require to be subservient to me — the churlish lack of deference, of decency! You have ruined them all with your backward thinking — it is just the sort of evil that is to be feared and avoided — just why the entail has existed, to prevent the dominion of the weaker sex, for such inferiority of reason has caused every tenant and labourer to defy me. They are all so stubborn and indolent! Half the able-bodied men on the property are claiming some malady or other, but I am sure they are all of them vicious drunkards, for more than one of them has threatened — well, I ought not to say such things in front of a lady."
For a moment Elizabeth could only gape at Mr Collins, who had worked himself into such a state that he was now perspiring heavily from the exertion of pacing about the room during his petulant outburst. Lady Catherine was the first to recover; she addressed Mr Collins with frigid steel in her voice. "Mr. Collins, you ought not to have said any of this, nor come to Netherfield at all, to make such an unseemly display of ill-humour and ignorance. I must ask you to leave immediately."
"I will not," he said, his shrill voice causing Elizabeth to flinch. Mr Collins fixed his beady eyes on her and took a step closer. "See how she sneers at me! You are most deceived in her character, Lady Catherine, most wickedly deceived! I have heard it said by several of the tenant farmers that Cousin Eliza has taken too much upon herself, that she has grown greedy and calculating since her father's death — that she congratulates herself on making Longbourn more profitable than it was before, running the place however she liked, as if it were her right to do so — she has so far misled all the farmers that now they will not acknowledge my rights, or explain her methods to me, nor make any account of what has been going on! And now she has bewitched you just the same, and led you to turn your back on a man who has a greater claim to your friendship and condescension — I am forsaken, and yet I fear for you, your ladyship — these Bennets will be the ruin of you."
Lady Catherine came forward until she was very close to Mr Collins; she was a tall woman, and the sight of her looming over him delighted Elizabeth, though she would prefer some opportunity to voice her own displeasure. "You have thoroughly forfeited any claim to my friendship and condescension," Lady Catherine said, jabbing her finger into his chest as she spoke. Mr Collins took a step backward, his mouth agape; Lady Catherine moved forward and prodded him again. "You have shown yourself to be staggeringly inept at managing the estate you so greedily hastened to occupy, and unpardonably boorish in your dealings with all your tenant farmers and estate workers." Another ominous step forward, and another forceful jab of her finger into his chest. "Your mean understanding precludes you from comprehending what a great favour this worthy young woman has done you.
Mr Collins took a hasty stride backward before Lady Catherine could jab at him again; he stumbled over a tufted footstool, staggered backward into an armchair, and stared up at the dowager in confusion. "Great favour? I have not the pleasure of understanding your ladyship."
"Indeed," Lady Catherine spat. "You have said yourself that Miss Elizabeth has been credited with making Longbourn more profitable. I daresay you owe her some thanks — and a resounding apology for all your previous disparagements."
Mr Collins sat up straighter, sputtering with sudden comprehension. "Is it true, Cousin Eliza? Have you made the estate more profitable?"
"I shall not deny it," Elizabeth said, holding her head high. "Indeed, I have no wish to deny it, for it is not an ill thing at all — I should rather consider it sufficient contradiction of all your nonsense condemning womankind and declaring the fairer sex to be incapable of estate management."
He stood, making a gesture to silence her. "You have made the estate more profitable," he said again. This time, he seemed to fully understand the implications of such a concept. "And where, might I ask, have these profits gone?"
Mr Collins' pompous triumph was but fleeting; Lady Catherine swatted at him with mounting impatience. "You simple man! But of course the girls have kept their profits. All labourers toil for the same purpose — payment. You quite astonish me, sir. Next you shall be asking whether they slept in their beds while they resided there, and dined from the larder."
He was stymied but for a moment, and began again. "This is a most shocking discovery — a terrible crime against me, against decency itself! But I was sure of it — I knew there had been some great treachery — some terrible duplicity!"
Once more, his unfortunate wording only heightened Elizabeth's ire. "Mr Collins," she cried. She hesitated, torn between unleashing the full force of her fury on this whinging half-wit, and attempting to maintain some modicum of dignity before the dowager.
Lady Catherine took advantage of Elizabeth's pause and interceded directly. "Mr Collins, your inadequacies of intellect cannot be permitted to importune us any longer. You may decline to demonstrate the gratitude you owe this young woman, and that is certainly your prerogative, sir, but there is little else you can do by way of protest." Once again Lady Catherine's posture had become frightfully imposing in a way that Mr Collins was keenly susceptible to. "You may recall the documents sent over by my own solicitor, on Mr Gardiner's behalf. Several signatures were required, and if you had actually read these documents, and fully comprehended them, you would now have no cause to repine. You have put your name to such terms as relinquish all rights to further dispute any funds generated by the property before the day you took formal possession of the estate — an estate which, I will remind you one final time, might have been passed to you in far worse a condition, were it not for the hard work and clever resourcefulness of the lady you have spent this half hour berating."
Mr Collins' eyes went wide in alarm, and he began to sputter incomprehensibly. Elizabeth smiled at him, feeling entirely vindicated, but Lady Catherine was not quite finished.
"You have now sunk yourself further in my esteem than I had ever imagined possible. With any luck we shall not have occasion to speak again, lest my opinion of your character reach a point wherein it becomes necessary for me to warn the general public at large of your profound capacity for reckless and malicious stupidity that may yet prove a danger to those unfortunate enough to suffer a connection to you. I shall not bid you good day, sir, nor send any compliments to your sister — I shall merely direct you to the door."
Elizabeth had not imagined her cousin capable of the terrific speed with which he hastened from the room, but she was glad indeed to see him depart at last after such a scene. She sank into the nearest chair and let out a long, heavy exhale.
Lady Catherine's demeanour instantly softened. "Are you well, Lizzy? Is there something I can get you for your present relief? Some wine perhaps?"
Elizabeth declined, shaking her head as a tremendous wave of emotion overtook her. She was in shock from the whole encounter, but one point in particular had caused her considerable surprise, and she offered her ferocious protector an appreciative smile. "You already knew?"
"Knew what, my dear?" With a significant look in her eye, Lady Catherine moved closer, laying a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder.
"All the money we put aside — shall we really be permitted to keep what we have saved?"
"Oh, that." Lady Catherine chuckled ruefully. "I made it all up — I hazarded a guess that you must have had the prudence to save — it was an easy conjecture."
Elizabeth sat back against the chair, a little deflated by this revelation. "So he did not sign anything that protects us?"
"But he believes that he has, and that is nearly the same thing. You are not so wholly unprotected my dear, I assure you."
"Thank you," she said softly.
"Come now, I had thought you were made of sterner stuff than this! If you cannot laugh about it quite yet, perhaps I must tell you my original advice to Mr Collins was that he ought to marry one of you girls." Lady Catherine made a very droll face, and Elizabeth at last gave way to the ridiculous humour of her situation.
Mrs Bennet was right to worry about Mr Collins — but her daughters are in good hands. Lady Catherine is not a woman to be gainsaid, especially not by her former parson!
Stay tuned for more excerpts and more chances to enter the giveaway...
Book Blurb
Hot on his heels is his noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, a woman consumed by grief of her own after the loss of her husband and daughter in a terrible fire at her estate, Rosings Park. While her nephew Mr Darcy is shocked by his aunt's interest in the five orphaned girls, her niece Georgiana thinks it just the thing to soothe the dowager's low spirits. Moved by the bonds of sorrow and a shared contempt of Mr Collins, Lady Catherine offers the Bennet sisters her protection and assistance in society — and what better way to help them than to find them all rich husbands?
Much to her chagrin, Lady Catherine is not the only one to meddle in Meryton's marriage mart — Richard Fitzwilliam joins her, at leisure to make mischief, Charlotte Lucas, now an heiress in her own right, has a secret of her own, and Georgiana Darcy finds herself inspired to write a novel that will document — and change — the lives of her new friends.
Tensions rise between Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy as they both bristle at Lady Catherine's plans — for very different reasons. Misapprehension and misunderstandings abound and plans go awry as the great lady rents Netherfield Park and hosts a horde of single gentlemen in possession of good fortunes, who must be in want of wives.
Will the Bennet sisters find love and happiness? What other Austen heroes and rakes might appear in the once dull village of Meryton? Will Darcy and Lizzy overcome the obstacles of their own making?
Author Bio
Jayne's favourite Austen work is Sense and Sensibility, though Sanditon is a strong second. Despite her love for Pride and Prejudice, Jayne realises that she is no Lizzy Bennet, and is in fact growing up to be Mrs. Bennet more and more each day.
After years of dating Wickhams, Collinses and the occasional Tilney-that-got-away, Jayne married her very own Darcy (tinged with just the right amount of Mr. Palmer) and the two live together in Texas with a pair of badly behaved rat terriers, and a desire to expand their menagerie of fur babies.
Giveaway
Thank you for your kind invitation to be part of your pre-release party, Jayne. And what an explosive scene that was. What do you think about Mr Collins's confrontation with Elizabeth helped along by Lady Catherine? Does this whet your appetite to know more? Would you like to get the e-book for free? If your answer is yes, then fill up the Rafflecopter form to be entered in the giveaway.
Lady Catherine a fierce protector of the Bennet sisters! I look forward to reading this one! Great excerpt, congrats on the new release :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteWow, I love this Lady Catherine!!!. Thank you for this excerpt
ReplyDelete